Minimale Frucht. Maximaler Hype.
Der feinste grĂŒne Apfel, den du nie in die Finger bekommst. 100 % bio. 0 % verfĂŒgbar. Aber hey, sieht gut aus.
Everything you need to start your next project
Authentication
25+ happy applesBecause even one apple requires serious security.
- Sign up & sign in with email
- Sign in with Google, Facebook, and more
- Session management built-in
- Magic links or passwordless login
- Works seamlessly with the juicy đ
Dashboard & Roles
80+ happy applesDifferent roles. Same empty apple inventory.
- Admin, user, and apple enthusiast roles
- Personalized dashboard views
- Access control made simple
- Role-based jokes included
- Built with scalability no one asked for
AI functionality
72+ happy applesThree AIs. Zero apples. Infinite opinions.
- OpenAI gives apple buying tips
- Claude explains apple ethics
- Gemini generates haikus about fruit
- Seamless API hookups
- Because every store needs existential AI support
Payments
120+ happy applesWe don't sell apples, but if we did⊠we'd be ready.
- Stripe & LemonSqueezy support
- One-time purchases or juicy subscriptions
- Secure checkout with 0 apples delivered
- Test mode so smooth, it's criminal
- Built-in buyer's remorse protection (emotionally)
Products directly from Stripe
Choose the perfect one for your needs.
Single-Origin Apple Juice
Cold-pressed from imaginary orchards. Smooth, fresh, and totally not real â but the label? Absolutely gorgeous.
$49
Apple Jam (No Toast Included)
Carefully crafted from something apple-adjacent. Comes in a rustic jar to make you feel like you're in a cottagecore startup.
$99
Inside the Juicy Apple Store (eBook)
The behind-the-scenes story of building the worldâs most ridiculous e-commerce site using the ultimate frontend boilerplate.
$79
The Empty Apple Box
Fully recyclable. Contains absolutely nothing. Designed to simulate the feeling of having ordered something valuable.
$167
âOut of Stockâ Dad Hat
Crisp embroidery, minimalist vibe. Lets everyone know youâve got taste and zero availability â just like our apples.
$15
The Juicy Tote
A premium canvas bag with a massive green apple printed dead center. Carries groceries, hopes, and the weight of never owning an actual apple.
$50
Pricing Plans
Choose the perfect plan for your needs. Perhaps discounted.
- Zero apples
- Unlimited refreshes
- Hope included
- Cancel anytime (there's nothing to cancel)
- Out-of-stock alerts
- Priority in the imaginary queue
- Early access to the Elite club
- Zero apples
- Unlimited refreshes
- Hope included
- Cancel anytime (there's nothing to cancel)
- Out-of-stock alerts
- Priority in the imaginary queue
- Early access to the Elite club
đ If we can build a store that sells nothing, so can You!
Trusted by thousands of customers worldwide
They never got the apple â but they got the experience.
I never got the apple, but the interface was so smooth I forgot I was hungry. Honestly, I stayed for the fonts. Would recommend to anyone who values vibes over produce.
Linda J.
UX Designer & Apple Dreamer
Signed up for the Sour Elite plan. Still waiting on my apple, but I did get a shiny badge and existential clarity. That alone was worth the price of admission.
Derek M.
Frontend Dev
Clicked 'Add to Cart' 47 times. Nothing happened. Kind of poetic, honestly. It taught me patience and disappointment, both of which are key startup skills.
Jack S.
Startup Founder
The AI told me the apple was emotional support. Now I just visit to feel seen and occasionally chat with Claude about fruit philosophy. 10/10 emotional UX.
Peter B.
SaaS Founder
The product page was beautiful. The apple? A lie. Would lie again. The shadows alone deserve an award. Can I get the apple in Figma instead?
Emily H.
Marketer & Visual Thinker
Best nonexistent purchase I've ever made. Would definitely not receive again. The checkout flow was buttery smooth, even if the cart remained empty forever.
Jonas R.
Freelance Dev & Apple Optimist
Frequently asked questions
Canât find the answer youâre looking for? Reach out to our customer support team.